And if you actually meet Mr or Ms right you should…

14 Dec

…ask them to “hold that thought for 3 months”. It’s awful, but it’s true. If you meet the person of your dreams: your soulmate: your true love, – do not, repeat, do not go out with them!

Simply, ask them to wait. For 3 months.

In the next three months you should:

IF YOU ARE A BOY : Seek out that  girl who is “crazy and free”. The one who tells you she is happy having an open relationship with you,  and will never make demands on you.  She simply offers carefree casual sex, with no expectations of  being taken out, presents or commitment. Then watch as she turns into the jealous bitch from hell, as she steals your details, max’s your credit cards, goes through your address book and drunkenly phones all your contacts at 2 am in the morning to ask why you are so heartless, or demands to know where you are…

IF YOU ARE A GIRL   hook up with  that  “floppy-fringed  guitar-playing dreamboat” and hang on to your pants as his caresses turn into punches that “won’t bruise”,  watch as he howls done the phone to your mum what an untrustworthly slag you are, nicks money from your purse, and shags your friends. Badly.

Once you have extracted yourself from these disastrous relationships (and had the STD tests results back), go straight back to “the right person” and have a delightful, happy, idyllic, fulfilled life – knowing that you are doing the right thing. Knowing that even if  things get a bit tense, it’s loads, absolutely massively better than going out with that psycho.

And snatching is a bit like that:

Once you meet  your 1 rep max, ask it to wait a bit, sneak off and hangout with some incredibly heavy snatch high-pulls. When you go back to your snatch, it will seem like angels are wafting the bar up to heaven. Trust me.

Trust me!

And that, in a nutshell, was Friday night  at Crossfit London. Plus a disgusting jumping squat  (while clutching a 10/15 kg  slam ball), hand release push up duo from the Diablo  (aka Tom)

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